Letter to him.

I swear, I have listened to the song "Crazy Girl" so many times that my feet tape to the beat of it when i'm thinking of you in the middle of class and still as you read these words, it is probably playing on my iPod, or laptop somewhere in a study hall, somewhere in an alternate universe where all I have is time to think; about how things are so screwed up, and about how scared I am (we are) about everything that is going on, about all the words that were said, the steps that were taken, and the phases that we have experienced.

I still have your eyes glued into my head. The way that you look at me and have that sense of amazement and astonishment that somehow you have found me and made me yours, as if it were some sort of impossible task for someone as amazing as you to achieve. I would never go out there and say that I'm the hardest person to date, but I am the hardest person you will ever meet to fully put trust into someone. Anyone can just say that they love you, anyone can just say that they want forever, with 2 kids, a boy named something with marshall in it, and a girl named Katelyn Alaina Larocque; a dog named Luke, and a gold fish named zack, in a house that is 4 stories high with a garage below all of that (not to the side, took me a while to realize that).

I guess you could say over the past few days. I've lost my mind in the cravings of wanting you no where else but in the space in between my arms, and its times like this that I thank the Lord that I have TJ. His heart beat sounds to much like yours. Peaceful, gentle, and beating because of me.

I have faith in everything that we are. I have faith in the tales that we have made in the last 8 months, and the tales we will make in the next forever years. I have faith in us; that I will not yell at you if you walk in the house with dirty boots, and that you will take a shower before coming to bed. I have faith that one day we will become that couple that everyone wants to be. I have faith that you and me, are meant to be.

Now I don't have much to say about anything that happened the other night for I do believe that, that is partly my fault. Please don't tell yourself its not, please. I'm not letting you live through this with only a blame upon yourself. I will be here for you through everything that is going on even if I have to cry myself to sleep every night until I see you next, i don't care what the cost is for me, as long as you know I'm here.

I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that I love you. I love you now, I loved you then, and I intend on loving you for the rest of my life. You are the the perfection to my life, and even though you don't see yourself as much, that doesn't matter to me. Love isn't about loving a perfect person, its about accept an imperfect person, as perfect and you sir, are nothing short of my imperfect perfection.

I love you babe.

& I think I'll be able to sleep tonight better.
Again, I love you. Goodnight.