Hating myself

I'm really starting to hate myself.
Just the lack of motivation that I have to do nothing whats so ever for no reason what so ever besides the fact that I love the feeling of being lazy.
I need to get my mentality into a state where if I go to bed early, wake up early, get my stuff done throughout the day, I'm going to feel better in the long run,
But for some reason that isn't enough for me.

I want to be put on some sort of pills
maybe that will help me get the motivation I need because for some reason I can't get it done myself. I just wish that there was a way for me to be able to wake up one day and feel like doing things
because honestly I'm really getting tired of myself, but I can't seem to stop myself either.
I just want to do things for myself,
do the things that I want for a change and stop being so lazy and only wanting to lay down and sleep my life away.
I wanna be able to go outside for a walk, or go inside and work out, but all that I want to do is wait for the next moment when I can sleep everything away.

People keep telling me that this is depression and that I need to get out of it, but I don't know if this is depression or just lack of motivation. I can't tell if there is something mentally wrong with me to want to have this urge to stay in bed and just sleep my life away,
or if it is just the lack of motivation to do such things.

I'm starting to get things done, kinda.
Last night I rearranged the pictures on my wall to a clumped up little corner so now I have plenty more room for other things that I want to put on my walls.
As well as I got these Japanesse lights that are hanging from my ceiling that make my room every so pretty.
And I hung up my Christmas lights, but those didn't work out as well as I had planned,
They fell in the middle of the night and scared the shit out of me (i think)
But now, since this morning when I bullshitted myself and got outta bed late, and almost didn't come to school because I didn't want to walk,
I am really not looking forward to getting home and getting ready to go and give my application to EverGreen but I am looking forward to getting the job. Maybe it will give me that motivation that I need to get my ass outta bed and get my shit done so I can make some money in the mean time.
But I really doubt it.
I really hope that I don't fail when it comes to this job, its not as easy as school, and all summer I'm going to have to be there at 7 and leave at 3 in the afternoon with weekends off. It's like school but now I'm actually going to be getting paid with a nice check at the end of the week. it's probably going to be worth it.
I'm really hoping that I get the job, I want that kinda responsibility in my life for once. I'm tired of waiting for things to be done for me, I wanna do things for myself for once.
I just hope my laziness will kick itself in the ass and leave me be. Well better start now. :)