This is the first day that I actually come to school and it seems like all I want to do is go home and be alone. I don't know why today, out of all days, that it is hitting me this hard, but it is. Right now his picture is on the side of my laptop, and I gaze at it from time to time, but it is always in my peripheral. Same with his hat, it is sitting on my desk next to my computer, I don't look at that as much.
I knew that this was going to be hard, but I didn't know that it would be this hard. I wish that he was here to help me through this, but he's not. I know that he's safe and peaceful in heaven, but knowing that I'm here, we're all here, without him, it makes things hard for me, and all I want to do right now is text him to see how he's doing, but we all know he won't answer, and if someone does answer, it won't be him..
I miss you Matt. <3
April 18, 2012.
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